Over committed...

So, I have this habit of over-committing myself. I spent the last week being CRAZY busy because I again took on too much. Got to stop doing that.

Drama Drama Drama

So, sorry if I ramble a bit, but I am pretty unhappy.


Remember Bratgirl? Well, we've played a few times. She has had some heavier than casual interest conversations with Daddy, and spends all kinds of time with us. He talked to me just Saturday night about our potential interest in her. Not saying we were going there, just that we sort of talked about thinking about it, if that makes sense.

So we had a super fun weekend planned. Party Saturday, visit new dungeon Sunday, of course the season finale of True Blood. Lots of fun things. I didn't have an overwhelming amount of work to do, so it looked pretty good all around. Bratgirl decided to come over Saturday, I made some dinner for us, and we watched movies. I did her nails, we talked.

She leaves on Sunday morning all in a rush. She says she has things to do and will be back later. In time to go to the new Dungeon open house. Then for some TV finale viewing. :-)

So, she leaves, I make us breakfast, and we sit down to enjoy the couple of lazy hours we have to ourselves before heading out. Then all hell breaks loose.

VERY long story short, we find out the Bratgirl has been lying to us the entire time. Deliberate deception. Looked us in the eye and LIED. She has a D-type person who she has also been lying to. This whole time I thought she and I were FRIENDS at the very least. We've helped her A LOT, we've been her shoulder, and we've carried her burdens for months. The whole time she has been playing us for fools. Where the hell was this guy all this time? What the hell is HE doing for her? It is this screwed up codependant situation that is wrong on so many levels. I want to be outraged FOR her, when I realize I should be outraged AT her.

The worse news is that we can't tell her we know. We now have to figure out a way to disentangle her from our lives without ever saying "you are a lying, deceitful (I know that is redundant), wicked, mean person and I want you out of my life!". Which, by the way, would make me feel much better. Turns out she has also been using ME for ammunition. Telling this man things that aren't true in order to manipulate him. "Well 'she' says so and so, what do you think about that?", when SHE (meaning me) never said any such thing.

She's lied to him about the time she has spent with us, she's lied to us about him, she's lied to everyone about well, everything. Clearly she is damaged goods and we don't need that kind of baggage in our lives, but DAMN DAMN DAMN. I told her things, I shared parts of my life with her. The whole time she is laughing behind her hand at the dumb people.

So, the good news is, it won't be hard. We are so busy that we have legitimate reasons not to see her. The bad news is I can't be honest about it. I HATE that. I would much rather clean up an honest mess than dodge the issue, but sadly, we are compelled not to say anything. The only change we need to make is to NOT make time for her anymore. Easy peasy.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't like to understand why she thought she had to lie. We only went down the other road with her a small way because she showed interest in us. It isn't like we were LOOKING. So, I realize this rambled a bit, but it is still fresh. Perhaps I will come back and edit later and make it make more sense.

Daddy's got a girlfriend...

Tee hee. Girl online latched onto Him and has NO SHAME! It is hillarious. Keeps asking me questions about Him and then sent Him email as well. Keeps asking what events we are going to and where we will be. CRACKING me up!!!

She keeps saying she is a service-sub. Ummmm read his info much? He is a miserable mean sadist! This whole thing is going to crack me up. The good news is that she isn't trying to pretend like I don't exist (happens), the bad news is she knows NOTHING about us and it doesn't seem to be stopping her! Poor little critter. I mean, yeah her for putting herself out there, but I am not sure being so forward it emotionally healthy. She will get shot down just for looking a little desperate.

Hmmmmm on the public scene...

Seems we have both grown a little tired of the drama laden crew involved in the public scene. The funny part is that we are both sick of them for different reasons.

I won't speak for him, so I can only tell you what I think.

It just feels like none of them have anything going on in their lives but talking about other people. It is all negative, criticism, and gossip. Isn't this supposed to be fun? Aren't we supposed to be HAPPY with our choices? Why do YOU care who so-and-so talks to/plays with or how so and so swings his paddle.

Our local playspace is all politics and ugly as well. I participated in a local group thread and was happily enjoying a thread that had some value to those of us who frequent the space, and found out there were all sorts of politics and back story and ugly, and WOW did I step in it. Daddy responded as well and HE even got a nasty reply. ARE YOU KIDDING???

So, I am a little bored with it all. It isn't like we 'casually scene', so who fracking cares, right? I've got SO much going on, I can't even begin to care about navigating the land mines of sensitive feelings and perceived slights. So there ya have it!

Paddle...

So, got busy because Daddy had a birthday. I spent WAY more time than I should have arranging to have it made, sans laquer so it could be properly airbrushed and THEN sent for laquer. So, not sure the pix do it real justice. It looks like metal in the light, and the barbed wire is black light reactive. Looks like he is holding just barbed wire in black light.

It also hurts like a %^&*()) ... have I completely lost my mind???

Ain't He Adorable?

Pictures from the Arabian Nights party. :-)

Dom by committee

So reading lots of "rules" things lately. Recently had a discussion about a woman who was sneaking behind her D-types back talking to other D-types etc. She even had a coffee date with subby boy and didn't tell her D. So He and I were discussing this. I was seriously irked at both of these people and I couldn't figure out why.

I was irked at him over the "you can't talk to any other D people". They had been together 2+ years, isn't there a level of trust at some point? I get if you are going to see someone in r/l the D type wanting the option of vetting/approving/attending, but to say you can't speak to certain people just because of their orientation? I have some D-type friends, and it is irrelevant their orientation. That is sort of like saying you can't have any friends who wear red or friends who read mysteries. It is about the particular PERSON. Frankly, in my personal experience it is the single S-type boys who give me the most heartburn and have the most potential for misbehavior.

My second problem with this particular D-type is he had his s person post to a public forum about what her "punishment" should be. Wahoo to Dom by committee. Dear lord, do NOT drag me into your relationship drama.

After lots of thinking I decided it was the sneaking that bothered me so much on her part. Cheating was too strong (I think), but for all he knows she was out having gang bangs every night because she was busy lying. I may not LIKE all of His answers, but I wouldn't choose NOT to tell him. There is a certain amount of trust that needs to go along with a LTR that I just don't see often. He would never tell me I couldn't have lifestyle pals, even if their orientation may be opposite to mine.

That being said, we do most lifestyle things together. I have a couple of pals I will see seperately, but we both KNOW those people.

OK, in fairness, we did briefly have a beef over a pal of mine (we share an interest in a certain kind of art) who he was concerned because he didn't know him. However, quickly solved and handled. I understood he needs to know him, and he understood nothing creepy was going on. My bad, I should have MADE SURE I explained. But aside from that small misunderstanding (I thought he knew the deal, he didn't- me just being dense), we always talk about it.

Frankly, I want his damned input. I am occasionally naive about other people's motives, so I WANT to hear what he thinks. Bottom line though, he TRUSTS ME. I am competent to handle myself appropriately, so he would never make rules about who I could talk to. That being said, if he did play the Domly card about someone, I would know he had a really good reason and he would explain it to me, not just make blanket statements about whole groups of people. Who does that?

So, while the relationship that happened to inspire this post is probably doomed, it was an interesting discussion. I get that everyone plays by different rules, but doesn't anyone trust anyone anymore? If he said to me that he was going to go have coffee with X s-type I wouldn't ASSUME he was screwing around. I think the key here is communication. Of course, that assumes we both know this person. If I didn't know this person I would certainly be concerned, but again, I wouldn't assume he was screwing around. We don't work that way though.

I frequently wonder if other people TALK. We talk about all sorts of things, every day. There is very little happening in our lives that we don't discuss. Maybe other folks just don't work that way. However, He would never consider domming (yes, I just made that up!) by committee either!